A+ Comm Skills

Grammar and talking good English has never been my strong point. So why, you may ask am I attempting to teach poor Japanese housewives, salarymen and stressed out teens English? It’s an interesting career choice for a person who finds it difficult to complete a sentence without the F-word. I like to think that this ineptitude isn't entirely my fault. I wasn't taught this at school. When my students ask me difficult grammar related questions my answer is usually "just cause" or "its just one of those things". My favorite excuse is "because otherwise its not natural". So I think I've found my place in my little school. My specialty is casual language. If ever they go to Australia and want to talk to the average Joe. They'll like, know how. I had a man to man lesson with a high level student the other day. His vocab was better than mine, his word choice admirable and grammar perfect. So I asked him "what part of your English would you like to improve?" his reply: "I want to be able to talk like you". I was like, well that’s easy mate, stop using all those big words and try to say 'fuck' a lot. But they can't do it. What these people need to learn is all the colloquial language and idioms that we take for granted. I've taken it upon myself to help them. So now I teach my students, its not "I don’t understand" its "I don’t get it”. You’re not ‘tired’, you ‘can’t be arsed’. I’ll have them up to scratch in no time. They’ll love me for it too when they tell their Canadian host family “Fuck off, I can’t be arsed to go to shopping this arvo”.