Suddenly Sexual

On Valentine’s day I received a fortune cookie that read: “someone special will cross your path”. I tossed it in the trash with all the other of the promises of love I receive, but on Saturday I met Irene and I knew that it was the real thing. Irene has shown me a world I never even knew existed. She opened a door to a place that I thought unattainable and spewed light into my otherwise colourless existence. She came into my life only yesterday but already I can’t imagine my life without her. Had I known I was this way inclined I would have acted far sooner, but I wasn’t to know. With Irene I have found solace. Irene - you complete me.

I’m a little unhappy with her battery life and word on the street is that she will be replaced next month with an even hotter full-screen video version but you can’t stand in the way of love. Her games excite me, her music does all kinds of things to me and her loyal entertainment has given me the quality of commute I deserve. Sexual.

Do yourself a favour and buy an iPod

Valentines Shmalentines

Valentines Day. Some people think it’s a big fat load of commercial bollocks and refuse to buy into the Hallmark event. We call them – single. V-day in Japan is slightly different in that only the women are sent into a buying frenzy. Today men received ridiculously expensive chocolates from their sweethearts, while the women got jack-shit. But there’s no need to feel sorry for them, the 14th of March “White Day” is payback, where men are traditionally expected to spend 40-60% more on their Mrs. So this wacky mix-up is clearly the only reason I didn’t receive any gifts of love today. Clearly.

Happy Birthday Christal

Jason, Christal and Keiko

Last night we celebrated my gorgeous ex-flatmate, current colleague and fabulous friend Christal’s birthday Karaoke style and it was hot. It was two hours of all-you-can-drink frivolity, which is all the fuel you need to belt out an incredibly moving Power Ballad or two. Last night I expanded my repertoire with a little Bon Jovi and a fine Guns and Roses number but couldn’t surpass my usual routine of Pat Benetar, Bonnie Tyler and everybody’s favourite duet – Love Shack. When the free Sho-chu stopped flowing there, Naomi and I circumnavigated the train station before attempting to speak very bad Japanese to every Toshi, Daisuke & Hiroyuki in our way. It’s amazing how fluent my Japanese is after a bottle of Sho-chu, I really think I connected with an old bloke on the train.

Naomi and I - Karaoke Queens

Mark being a charmer