Foxes in the snow

Those that know me, probably wonder where I get my buns of steel. It’s probably a number of factors, namely genetics and a strict diet and exercise regime (I drink diet coke in my vodka and I dance up a storm on a Saturday night) but probably predominantly because I am a snowboarder. I can call myself a snowboarder because I have been four days in the last month and I also think that qualifies me to be “outdoorsy”.


Andrew and I decided to throw caution to the wind and go on a holiday together again. It was a bold move but we thought that we were ready. This time we did it right. We left all alcohol at home, took responsibility for our belongings and our sexual selves and attempted to behave for 2 days.


Despite getting covered in bruises and gaining a mild concussion it was a successful weekend. I am getting much better on my board and after much coaxing from the lift-men (who again gave me lots of praise and candy) I ventured past the beginners slope. Actually I ventured a lot further and got lost in the next village. I am far more confident now, but confidence just means bigger stacks maybe a little fewer in frequency.

The end of the snow season is painfully close so I fear that I will have to hang up my boots until next year. Totes devoed its over but it was wicked while it lasted. Pretty sure that next season will be a perfect time to begin our professional careers, but for now we will just have to retire as top seeded amateurs. Loves et.

I need rocks.

Last night 4 very sexy ladies went to an all-star house party for Anton’s birthday. We love Anton because he has wicked parties, is wicked fun and knows lots of sexy J-boys. Last night we met an enormous J with huge arms and dubbed him Rocks because a) the name totally suited his gargantuan physique and b) after carefully studying his drink he declared: “I need rocks” and set off to put some ice in his drink. Rocks totally lived up to his name and rocked our world piggy backing me round the party and providing us unlimited giggles. I also devised a sexy new drink - Sho-chu and cold tea. Delicious and nutritious. After a friendly visit by the J-police, home time saw a legendary taxi hustle when our miscalculations proved there was one too many people for the cab I did a stellar blatantly obvious dive for the floor, I’m sure the driver was totally unaware of his stowaway. I would have photos to document the night had if some idiot had remembered to charge my camera so you will just have to imagine how hot we were and how big our new best friend is.

Board Bunnies

Last week I discovered my true calling in life when Sandy, Naomi and I embarked on a well-deserved winter adventure in the sexy ski-slopes of Nagano prefecture. Snowboarding is not for everyone. It requires dedication, determination and a sexy snow enseme. Equipped with one of those, we three ladies absolutely carved it up.

It was the first time I boarded, a person of lesser physical coordination and stature might endeavour to get a lesson or two but it was obvious from the outset that I was a natural and I decided to waive the trivial lesson. I boldly took my board up the lift breathing in the winter panoramas and the chilly mountain air. At the top people were sliding about with ease. I snapped on my board and attempted to get up. 15 minutes later I was still attempting to get up. Half an hour later in a fit of rage and frustration I decided to pack it in. Took off my board and watched it sail down the mountain without me. There is a little strap on a snowboard that one should tie around their leg to prevent these accidents happening, they probably tell you this in lessons. Instead the guy behind me shrieked and took off down the mountain in an attempt to capture the elusive board before it wiped out my fellow snowboarders. Alas, he was too late. It sped down taking out one unsuspecting victim and landed in the car park at the bottom of the hill, fortunately there were no major injuries because we would have looked like total bitches pissing ourselves laughing at the top. This incident would be the first in a succession of events that led us to believe the people in Nagano are among the friendliest in the world. The kind gentleman retrieved my board, carried it back up on the lift and on return immediately fixed it to my leg for me to carry the bloody thing back down the mountain in a huff. After screaming to the girls that I would see them in the fucking bar, Sandy and Naomi came to my rescue. We spend a much needed half an hour teaching me how to get my arse off the ground and I was away. I never looked back either. I’d say I’ll need a couple more runs down the beginners slope before I turn pro, but its only a matter of time.



Exhausted after our first day of tearing up the slopes we headed back to our resort to a) go for a piping hot bath and b) find the sexy young man who gave us unlimited assistance whenever we needed it. His name is Eiji and from now on we will refer to him as my boyfriend. My boyfriend worked on reception, which was very convenient and we came up with any excuse imaginable to visit him. We asked for directions, loaned his gear, took his advice, got change for the vending machine and borrowed many random items. Then of course I needed to return the many random borrowed items and then when there was nothing left to borrow I finally asked him to come drink with us. Eiji brought his snowboarding mates and their Nagano hospitality to the TV room and we sat up playing drinking games with the ridiculous amount of alcohol that they provided. PIN, PAN > PON. I was in awe when I realised that I was sitting with a celebrity, one of my boyfriend’s mates was actually the Pro-jumper that I saw during the day doing massive jumps and somersaults in the air! We managed to convince the PRO guy to give us free lessons the next day (which he did while holding an umbrella, I was impressed). This time he taught us to bend our knees but I’m sure next time he’ll move on to the jumping part.

"New York" and Eiji (bear in mind he had hat hair coz I stole his hat).

By day two we were everybody’s friend. The women wanted to be us and the men wanted to be with us and everybody wanted to help us. We were rockstars of the slopes, the lift men even gave us candy. Naomi had convinced one of our new boarding mates to let us ride the snow-mobile by ourselves. He showed us where the accelerator and the brake were and when his boss wasn’t looking we sped off up the slopes with the wind in our hair - about 10 metres up the hill before I nearly rolled it and he confiscated it. Those things are very similar to Quad’s; very difficult to turn…

Our sexy snow holiday is probably the best holiday I have had in Japan. A wicked time with fabulous friends and sexy men and there is just something about a ski wardrobe that makes everyone looks hot. And it is simply fate that our newfound snowboarding mates live right near us in Tokyo in the summer. The gang will be back together in April because snowboarding is not just a sport. It's a way of life. Rock on.