Nihongo Wakarimasen

Before leaving Australia I set several goals for myself while in Japan. Number one was to learn Japanese. Number two was to save some money. Number three was to make great friends and have a fabulous time. The last one I have completely in the bag and I have managed to make a slight dint in my mountain of debt. But I have now been in Japan for one year and still can’t speak a word of Japanese. I’m not exactly sure why I am broadcasting this shameful fact but I felt the need to confess. In my defence I speak English all day at work, my flatmates are Commonwealth citizens and my Japanese friends just laugh when I attempt to speak their tongue. But not only can I not speak Japanese, my own English ability is getting progressively worse. I find myself saying things like: “yes, the roads are very crowded today”, “many, many people go to shopping in Shibuya”, “Maybe ok” and I’ve lately been referring to my weekends as “special holidays”. My vocab is wasting away because my brain can only process one language. For every Japanese word I learn, an English word slips away. I speak slower than a stroke victim. I have developed a vacant stare when there is talk of anything intellectual in the office and to me ‘current affairs’ are which J-boys my friends are dating this week. And I refute the theory that any of this is a result of excessive cocktail consumption chipping away at my brain cells. It’s just a simple fact of J-life. しょうがない。