An Australian Christmas

Christmas Breakfast

This year I celebrated Christmas Aussie style. A champagne breakfast at my Aunty Louise’s house, a roast lunch with my Dad’s family and a huge buffet dinner at my Grandma’s. Like every other Australian, I ate an unhealthy amount of delicious Christmas cuisine. Heath and I played a bit of an impromtu gig around the pool with a stunning acoustic rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart. I got to hang with my gorgeous little cousin and his new baby brother and I had a yarn with all the oldies (after reminding them who I was). But the best gift I received by far was a whole lot of Tiger love from everyone. Check it out.

Dad enjoying his Chrissy lunch

Friends Reunited

Last night I met up with my bestest friend in the world Ang, her hubby Heady and Mr Endersby for celebratory dinner and drinks. Endo was kind enough to provide the bubbly and after 2 glasses I was trashed. For some reason or another my drinking ability has gone considerably downhill though it’s definitely not due to lack of practise. So after a further 3 glasses I can’t remember a thing. Endo tells me I was very well behaved, I only gave the barman a small amount of grief and we all had a lovely evening. Next time I have promised to remain sober with expectant mum Ang for moral support and for my own wellbeing. Pretty soon I’m going to have to change this blog to “Confessions of a Reformed Booze Hag”. It was great to see my mates after 12 months away, and because they are like family it felt like nothing had changed. I still love them to bits. Looking forward to catching up with more on Christmas Eve at Meg’s BBQ! x

Nihongo Teachers

This is my gorgeous friend, fabulous Japanese teacher and personal translator Misuzu. The bloke is Steve’s Japanese big brother Kentarou, who is gorgeous but for some reason or other never knows what is going on. Drinking with this pair is always an education, we communicate through a mixture of broken English and appalling Japanese and we love it. Here Steve can be seen training Kentarou in the correct pronunciation of “ya fucker” however we both know he will continue using his pseudo-Italian one. Right now in Australia where I can understand the language around me, I am missing them like crazy. Love you guys!

Bunch of Posers

Here is a collection of golden moments. We just can’t help ourselves, when the camera comes out, so do the poses. Our favourite is most definitely “the tiger” however we have attempted a few other moods to add little variety.

Look, I found someone else who likes to make this ridiculous face!

Random man on the train willing to partake in a little TIGER action

My three favourite people in the world on the train

An attempt at a Dolphin

"The Pornstar"

"Monkey no look, Monkey no listen, Monkey no talking"

The Cranky Pout

Where Time Goes Backwards

I’ve been back in Australia for 3 days now and I think I’m suffering from reverse culture shock. In Japan I am constantly busy, I never have time to think and I’m always on the go. I did all the jobs I had to do while in Australia yesterday, which was a little hasty because now I have absolutely nothing to do. In Japan I rarely have 5 minutes to myself but now I find myself with 5 weeks. What the hell am I going to do? A mate has suggested that I get a little creative and write some songs, which would be a brilliant idea had I any talent whatsoever for writing music. Instead I’ve decided to get literate, I’ve decided to read all the books I have always wanted to read but haven’t had time. My first pick was a book on Japan’s attack on the Chinese city of Nanking during the Second World War. It is quite possibly the most horrific book I have ever read and while it is educating it is also incredibly depressing. It made me feel so grateful for the life that I was given and reinforced the fact that I am one of the luckiest people on earth. One of the luckiest people on earth, who is, currently moaning about having 5 weeks in Australia with nothing to do. Yes, I do see the irony.

I have also had the misfortune of reading an English magazine. Magazines are too expensive in Japan, which is why most Japanese stand in convenience stores reading them so they don't have to buy one. I decided to splurge and buy a copy of an old fave - Cosmopolitan for the plane. Was it always full of such utter bollocks or has it changed editors recently? Almost every article I found related to a) finding a boyfriend b) finding a better boyfriend or c) analysing the fuck out of your current relationship. There was even a handy article (written by a man) instructing me how to give a better blow-job. Apparently, I should practice on a cucumber. I’m assuming this skill improves their chances of realising their “finding a boyfriend” goal. I’d love to open one of these mag’s one day to find a big 10-page lift out on basic common sense.

Also, the TV in Australia is killing me. I want to be back in Japan where I can’t understand what they are banging on about. There is honestly a commercial every 7 minutes. 7. And I’m pretty sure they run longer than the actual program does. I’d also like to know what percentage of Australian TV is made up of home improvement shows and why none of the homeowners in my hometown are taking their advice on-board. I saw an ad for one today claiming they could teach me how to build my own bed-head for under $300. Surely for $300 I could buy one that was made by someone with the appropriate bed-head making skills? It didn’t even look good on the ad, imagine what it would look like if I tried my hand at it.

Anyway, now I’ve vented, I’m going to bed. I’m going to think long and hard and come up with some more positive forms of Aussie feedback.

In Flight Entertainment

You are it. I am writing this on my flight from Tokyo to Bangkok. I managed to get on the only airline sans back seat TV’s. I secretly think the people around me are green with envy that I have the ease and convenience of my stylish ibook. And if I didn’t look like a hideous swamp beast in the oldest/comfiest clothes I own, I might be mistaken for someone with an important job. I’m sat next to a kindly Japanese man and I’m trying out all the Nihongo that I can caper. He’s showing me some nifty gadget game thing that all the kids are playing these days so I just asked him how much it cost. Then, when he replied “only $150” I told him: “vegetable”. The bewildered look on his face was cue to correct myself with an embarrassed “errr… I mean, cheap”.

The movie playing on the big screen is some kind of tragic dance movie that stars someone who may or may not be Justin Timberlake. Whatever it is, its horrible. I’m devoed that I didn’t have the foresight to put a movie or two on this beast before departure. And I’d just like to reinforce the laptop envy I’m feeling right now, the little J-man has just told me that I’m a nerd with my computer. Jokes on you mate. He wishes he was me, he’s gonna loose it real soon when I pull out the solitare.

If I wasn’t completely knackered from the last few weeks of madness, I would be ectatic right now. I’m on my way to Australia for a well-earned 5-week holiday. I’m going from the freezing temperatures of Tokyo to the warmth and sunshine of a beloved Aussie summer. In the 6 weeks prior to this flight I’ve broken up with the J-boy I couldn't communicate with, said some very teary goodbyes to my two best friends and flatmates, moved out of the Horifune Palace and into my very own sexy little studio apartment in Nakano, Tokyo, signed a new contract at work, started a couple of new kids classes, seen a musical that my favourite student gave Steve and I tickets to, gloated to everyone I know about my extended vacation and spent a small fortune buying unnecessary, overpriced and fabulous make-up at the duty free counter.

I have absolutely no idea what I have packed in my suitcase in the chaos. I’m not even sure I packed anything at all. I have never before been under the airline weight restriction, so you can imagine my confusion at the check-in counter. I didn't even know that was possible?

Anywho, might give my laptop battery a rest so I can wow the people on my next flight with the same prepared brilliance as I have on this one. I have the next 5 weeks to sit on my bum in the sun so you can expect to hear from me again soon.