Where Time Goes Backwards

I’ve been back in Australia for 3 days now and I think I’m suffering from reverse culture shock. In Japan I am constantly busy, I never have time to think and I’m always on the go. I did all the jobs I had to do while in Australia yesterday, which was a little hasty because now I have absolutely nothing to do. In Japan I rarely have 5 minutes to myself but now I find myself with 5 weeks. What the hell am I going to do? A mate has suggested that I get a little creative and write some songs, which would be a brilliant idea had I any talent whatsoever for writing music. Instead I’ve decided to get literate, I’ve decided to read all the books I have always wanted to read but haven’t had time. My first pick was a book on Japan’s attack on the Chinese city of Nanking during the Second World War. It is quite possibly the most horrific book I have ever read and while it is educating it is also incredibly depressing. It made me feel so grateful for the life that I was given and reinforced the fact that I am one of the luckiest people on earth. One of the luckiest people on earth, who is, currently moaning about having 5 weeks in Australia with nothing to do. Yes, I do see the irony.

I have also had the misfortune of reading an English magazine. Magazines are too expensive in Japan, which is why most Japanese stand in convenience stores reading them so they don't have to buy one. I decided to splurge and buy a copy of an old fave - Cosmopolitan for the plane. Was it always full of such utter bollocks or has it changed editors recently? Almost every article I found related to a) finding a boyfriend b) finding a better boyfriend or c) analysing the fuck out of your current relationship. There was even a handy article (written by a man) instructing me how to give a better blow-job. Apparently, I should practice on a cucumber. I’m assuming this skill improves their chances of realising their “finding a boyfriend” goal. I’d love to open one of these mag’s one day to find a big 10-page lift out on basic common sense.

Also, the TV in Australia is killing me. I want to be back in Japan where I can’t understand what they are banging on about. There is honestly a commercial every 7 minutes. 7. And I’m pretty sure they run longer than the actual program does. I’d also like to know what percentage of Australian TV is made up of home improvement shows and why none of the homeowners in my hometown are taking their advice on-board. I saw an ad for one today claiming they could teach me how to build my own bed-head for under $300. Surely for $300 I could buy one that was made by someone with the appropriate bed-head making skills? It didn’t even look good on the ad, imagine what it would look like if I tried my hand at it.

Anyway, now I’ve vented, I’m going to bed. I’m going to think long and hard and come up with some more positive forms of Aussie feedback.