How to Ausify a Pom

Take one whinging Pom from the bright lights of Okubo, Japan and then take away all of his wages leaving him skint and with little option but to move to the depths of the Australian countryside with his incredibly sexy Australian girlfriend. Once in Australia give him copious amounts of alcohol and feed him lamb every day to keep him happy and healthy. Teach him how to light a barby without singeing his mono-brow, how to ride a quad-bike and how to distinguish a blue tongue lizard from a death adder and he’ll be yours forever.

Today marks two weeks and two days in Australia for us. It’s fair to say we have gone from one extreme to the other. In Japan it would take approximately three minutes to walk to the conbini yet today, in contrast it took us two hours to walk to the shop and back and we acquired a friendly dog on the way home.

Steve has met and drunk with all my family and friends now and wooed them all with his guitar playing talent. Last night we drank a cask of red with dad and Heath before dad impressed us both by magically putting a chicken to sleep by tucking its head under its wing and swinging it round in front of him. It’s not something you see everyday and we are still very confused about the whole show. Never the less I feel Steve is getting a fair taste of Australia.

Aside from the fact that we are about to strangle each other because we are stranded in the middle of the country with no car and no neighbours, we are beginning what I hope will be a long relationship with my fair country. With more interviews lined up this week and a mates very generous offer to go and stay with her in the city we’ll be sorted in our own beach side apartment in no time, with a (fingers crossed) car purchase soon to follow. If our sad excuse for a company would pull their finger out and pay us for the last months work we did we might be able to buy one sooner but I’ll save that rant for my mums sake because it makes me want to punch walls.

So it's a big, big thank you to my fabulous, generous and patient mum for putting us up and welcoming us home with open arms. I love her to bits and apologise on line for us doubling her washing load everyday, but god its good to be home.