Tragic Date

This post holds no comical value what-so-ever so wipe that smirk off your face. In fact posting this is probably in incredibly poor taste but it is important that you know my life isn’t always hilarious piss-ups, glamour and gaieties.

My modern life took a tragic turn for the worse the other night. I was on possibly the best date of my life when disaster struck. I managed to snag myself a fabulously sexy, tall, English speaking J-boy, a rarity to say the least. This boy was either the coolest person in the world or the world’s most creative liar. He lived in England for a year as a semi-professional football player. Did home stay with a family who’s father plays keyboards for Death in Vegas. He is the singer in a rock band and studies law at Tokyo University. He is also hilariously funny, forward and unlike any J-man I have ever met. Things were going famously, until he received a call from his best friends mother informing him that his best friend had just had a car accident and was in hospital. Naturally he left. I received a message from him the next morning telling me that his best friend had in fact died last night and he can’t see me anymore as I would always remind him of the night his best friend died. At first I thought it was an elaborate and sick ploy to end our budding relationship but unfortunately I read the story in the newspaper.

Of course the real tragedy in this sorry tale is the fact that the sexy mans friend died. But I can’t help but wonder whether it’s all just a cruel joke that god played on me. A story this horrific is more than just bad luck. Is it possible that I am cursed? Am I destined for a life of horrible misfortune? Is my life just a tragic wasteland? Answers to these questions and more in future instalments of ‘Confessions of a Boozehag’.